By DENISE GRADY

And I quote: "The F.D.A.'s worst hour of recent times was the breast implant

fiasco. Someone claimed that leaking silicone caused systemic illness, and F.D.A., instead of pointing out that the epidemiological evidence was essentially absent, triggered what turned out to be a multibillion-dollar transfer from publicly held companies to the tort lawyers and destroyed the scientific credibility of the agency in many minds. That's the easiest example. But there have been many others."

I am one of the thousands and thousands of silicone survivors worldwide - in excruciating pain, barely surviving, dying from silicone poisoning, that very few in the medical field will admit exists.

The few in the medical field that know, and acknowledge, the truth of silicone or saline implant poisoning and the devastating effect it has on a woman's health are ostracized from the medical community upon the urgings of the AMA as 'quacks'.

If I were to believe the majority of the articles and programs in the media which is propaganda of the AMA, and specifically the Plastic Surgeons, who opt for greed over health safety, I must believe it is all in my 'head'.

True, it is all in my 'head' - which is my brain, my lungs, my heart, my liver, my kidneys, my intestines, and in every other major organ and all through my body.

Not only do I have silicone tumors growing on my chest four years after a bi-lateral mastectomy to remove the siliconoma from silicone breast injections in 1971, but I have also recently been diagnosed with the fatal disease of Pulmonary Fibrosis. Pulmonary Fibrosis is the silicone coating my lungs so that the oxygen in my lungs cannot be diffused into the blood vessels to get to my brain or other parts of my body. I was misdiagnosed for at least two years with allergies, (although I also suffer from severe allergies). The diffusion rate for my lungs is down to 60%. I have also been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Connective Tissue Disease, Auto-Immune Deficiency, severe allergies to everything from grass, dust, to medications, as well as, Bi-lateral Carpal Tunnel, Right Tarsal Tunnel, and herniated discs in my lower back. My teeth are breaking off at the gum line. As I sit here writing to you, my front tooth is glued in, as is one of my bottom molars. I have sequestrums, which are bone chips that protrude out of the inside of my mouth in my jaw and the bones of my feet. This is normally attributed to high doses of radiation, which have to be cut out and do recur - I have another sequestrum now protruding from my lower right jaw. I have excruciating pain in all of my bones which feels like ten inch screws being turned in my bones. I suffer from unbelievable, severe muscle cramps that are more like seizures. I had one such episode in which every organ in my body was twisted and cramped for nine hours - I could not get to a telephone to call 911. As a result, I feel as though the muscles have been torn and I can barely walk with the aid of a cane for several days. I wake up with dried blood on my ear lobes. Huge blood clots come out of my sinuses and nose. My hands and feet are so numb that I cannot tell when I cut myself unless I see the blood spurting out. Day before yesterday, I woke up and both of the front top of my thighs had huge blood bruises with welts. I have both bowel and urine incontinence. Most days, because of the severe pain, it takes me two hours to be able to get out of bed.

I am functional only when I am heavily medicated on Vicodin or Methadone for severe, chronic pain; otherwise, I am only able to get from the bed to the sofa.

I am suffering excruciating, totally debilitating pain, I cannot breathe. My social life is non-existent. All I do is go from one medical specialist to another to give me one more fatal diagnosis and shrug their shoulders.

I am dying from something the world media, the medical profession, prompted by the Plastic Surgeons, tell me does not exist!

Do you have any idea what is contained in silicone? Whether it is silicone breast implants, saline breast implants that are enclosed in silicone pouches, or body replacement parts that are coated with silicone? Silicone contains at least 38 known Neuro-toxins.

Do you know how all of this started? I will tell you.

After World War II, the American military stationed in Japan wanted women with large breasts. Someone got the bright idea to inject silicone into the Japanese women's breasts! Silicone was used as sealant and airplane glue during that time. It was liquid, slimy, and WOW, the women could have huge, giganto breasts to please the men. Oh, but it did not stop there. Soon the women were having silicone injections in their vulva at the urging of the men. This progressed to the Japanese women getting silicone injections in their buttocks, and then eyes and cheeks to change the shape of their faces. The Japanese men were having silicone injections in their penises...and so the horror began and continues in as many forms as the greedy can profit.

Do you realize that after almost 60 years, this outrageous practice continues, using reconstructive surgery on women who have all ready had their health severely compromised with breast cancer following mastectomy?

Have you heard that over 100,000 women will undergo breast enhancement in 2001?

Do you comprehend the health compromises, devastation, medical costs, loss of income, and eventual death, that can sometimes take effect within weeks, mostly within years (average is approximately ten years - and then rarely attributed to the true cause of silicone poisoning)?

Now that the American market is somewhat suppressed, the chemical companies and breast implant manufacturers are now touting their wares in South America - both women and men have their own name, known as 'siliconadas', all over Europe, and the rest of the world.

Yes, I chose to have silicone injections in both of my breasts - but only because I was young, naive, and believed the medical doctor who told me they were completely safe, there were absolutely no adverse effects and that they would last forever - even though silicone injections had been banned by the FDA in 1965 and my injections were in 1971. So this raises several questions. The doctor KNEW that the silicone had been banned. The doctor was still able to have liquid silicone in huge amounts shipped to his medical office in Costa Mesa, California where he injected hundreds, if not thousands, of women from Newport Beach. How was the doctor able to receive huge amounts of liquid silicone from Dow Chemical without Dow asking questions as to the use?

The only thing the doctor told me that was true was that the silicone would last forever - right, it will outlast this body long after it has killed, maimed, deformed, and destroyed it from the inside out.

Yes, indeed, as the writer of your New York Times article states - "the breast implant fiasco" is killing every one of us - some just slower than others.

I want the world to know why I am living such a painful existence which takes a toll on my family and friends and society as a whole. I am a very talented woman who can now only contribute compassion, support, information, insight, and love to my silicone survivor sisters and brothers - hopefully to ease their journey through this hellish 'fiasco'.

Sincerely,

Love, Light, & Blessings, Jussta

I have updated my website: http://www.jump.to/jussta

"The sunset is a torch, welcoming the night, a ritual closing the day that

will never be again..." Jussta 1967