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By: GREG SCHARF - For The Californian

Doctors told her that the severity of her case was the result of having breast implants. Mammograms are severely compromised in ...

The Temecula Christmas parade is one of the high points of my holiday season, but I missed it this year. I accidentally "double booked" and made a date on the same Friday.

I met her on an Internet dating site, and underneath several pictures of a vivacious young redhead was a very unusual profile. She was a single mom, with three young kids, and she said that she'd recently been diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer and would like a friend for support and to hang out with between chemo and radiation treatments.

After a couple of hours of conversation in a Redlands coffee shop, I saw a Christmas miracle in process, and I learned a lot about breast cancer, as well as about faith, courage, dignity and hope.

Her doctors had told her that in her case, there was no point to aggressive treatment ---- she was too far gone. She didn't accept that, though, and told me she was going to fight until she was cured or until the day she died.

Doctors told her that the severity of her case was the result of having breast implants. Mammograms are severely compromised in women with implants because they can only push the implants back into the breast so far, so only the portion of the breast that is "implant free" can be seen in the mammograms.

There are other types of cancers that don't show up on mammograms, because the tumor looks like the rest of the connective tissue, and you have to rely on feeling the tumor, and the implants could effectively hide those tumors.

I asked her about Zofiran, the drug that supposedly stops the nausea caused by chemotherapy. She told me it doesn't actually stop the nausea, and pointed to her throat, and said "but it stops the vomiting here."

As a result she'd lost 20 pounds, because she had no appetite. I told her about a friend of mine who prolonged her life with marijuana, because it gave her an appetite and stopped the nausea completely. I don't know what medical marijuana costs, but Zofiran is $38 a pill and the dosage is twice a day.

The late Dr. Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor, said that the common denominator of those who survived the brutality, starvation and disease of the death camps were those who had some sort of meaning or purpose to their lives.

My "date" told me that wanting to watch her three children grow up was a key in her determination to survive, as well as her career as a special ed teacher. She has plans for the future.

The red hair is gone, and she's planning a double mastectomy, as she doesn't want to go through this again. But her spirit is completely intact and as healthy as it could be and she's getting help both medically and spiritually.

I got a dose of reality that night, and this Christmas I will look at those I love as if I'd never celebrate Christmas with them again ---- as there are no guarantees for anyone. I will try to follow her example to live a day at a time with courage and dignity, which nothing can take away from you. Hope is very contagious.

Greg Scharf of Temecula is a regular columnist for The Californian. E-mail: Gscharf7@aol.com.

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