4 octobre 2005 16:35

The FEMA Hotline

"If your governor is a Democrat, please hang up and blame her. If your governor is a Republican, please praise President Bush and all Republicans for the terrific job they're doing. If you haven't had anything to eat or drink for 5 days or longer, please hang up and try again later, but don't complain to the media in the meantime. If you are up to your neck in water in your attic or dehydrating on your roof, just wait - the cavalry is on its way to save you! If you took water or food from a store to survive, stay right where you are - we will send someone over to shoot you. If you are a poor, black or unemployed victim of a hurricane or terrorist attack, please bend over and kiss your ass goodbye. To hear these options again, please hang up and try again later. To return to the main menu, please hang up and try again later. We apologize for any inconvenience. On second thought, don't try again later - our budget has been cut to pay for the Iraq War and we're stretched thin as it is.

"And don't forget to donate generously to the Red Cross because we have no money left to take care of your problems."

- anonymous -