Bev's Story

Date: Thu, 27 Sep 2001 23:24:05 -0400 (EDT)

From: SIC2001@webtv.net

Well, my story started in 1980 when I found lumps in my right breast. I went to a surgeon and after many tests he told me these knots were so numerous in both breasts, that it would only be a matter of time before they turned to cancer. He said I many in my left breast, too. He recommended that I have a double mastectomy. As I was sitting there trying to take this all in, I'll never forget what he said next, "I don't know why you're having a problem with this, your breasts aren't the greatest looking things anyway." He then produced a book of great looking breast reconstruction surgery and touted these great wonderful silicone implants. I didn't remember the ride home that day.

The surgery was done the next week. The doctor put myset of implants under the muscle. When I awoke in recovery I couldn't believe the pain. I was originally a D cup and when I look! head down and saw this flat chest I was in a panic. He told me when the muscle relaxed, the implants would extend and the pain would be relieved. Well, the muscle didn't relax and the pain didn't leave. The next month he decided to put another set over the muscle without taking the original set out. Needless to say the pain was double this time.

About 5 months went by when one day I bent over to pick up my small niece and I felt a tear on my left side. When I looked down my implant had slipped under my arm. I was hysterical. The next day I went to see the doctor and he said, well it looks like we're going in again. Now at this time I was still dealing with the death of my new born son who died from SIDS. And I walked out of that place thinking, your not going back in anywhere. Emotionally things got pretty bad. I didn't know what to do. Between the pain and the antidepressants I watched my 8 years on do laundry, bring me food and do all the things I should be doing. My husband was there for me but it was my son and me through those long days. All the build up finally came to a head one night when I just had to have some peace and rest.(I hate talking about this) I took too many of the nerve medicines. I didn't want to die. I just wanted some rest. That night all I remember is the ambulance driver pulling over to the side of the road yelling for a medic to get back there, that I wasn't breathing. They pumped my stomach and when I woke up in ICU, there stood my husband and my little boy. He stood up on his tip toes, looked over the bed and said, "Are you alive Mommy? My heart broke. What was I doing to these people? I made my mind up I was going to get out of this mess somehow-someway. I was in that hospital a month. I got out and tried to make up for all the harm I had done.

I then found a new doctor. He examined me and I told him I had 2 sets of implants in my chest. He said he was sure I had to be mistaken. Well, when I woke up in recovery he was standing there and said I was right. He removed all 4 and put another set in me. Yes they were silicone. The pain wasn't as bad as the first two and I recovered pretty quick. All thought everything was going to be alright now. 

I had these for about 9 years. Through these years I had been pretty sick. To date I have had 15 surgeries. The only thing I have left is my gallbladder (my heart, lungs, kidneys and liver. (THANK GOD!) This is about the time (around 1990) that I started hearing the effects of silicone. I wanted these out of my body, but I didn't wanted these out of my body, but didn't want even saline implants put in.

I heard of this new procedure Tram Tissue flap surgery. I thought great, it will be all me. I went back to the doctor who did my last surgery and he agreed to perform it. It worried me a little when he wanted my siblings to give blood, but I thought he did great last time. I almost didn't make it out of that surgery. I almost bled to death. They kept me heavily drugged and wrapped in heat blankets the whole stay. When they sent me home to deal with on my own, I was covered with drains and bandages from my breasts to my buttocks. The tape was hurting me so bad that I begged my husband and daughter to remove it. They did, with all my skin attached. I was soon rushed to my local hospital for another stay of a week. And here I am today 11 years later, experiencing all the pain my Silicone and Tram Flap Sisters is having. And we have to hide this atrocity? Is this America? Where is the justice? I'm sorry that this has been so long but my suffering has been long. And if there is any! one out there who is thinking of doing this, I hope you think long and hard after reading this. THIS IS REAL.

Sincerely from the Heart

Bev